Hi Folks

Here are the Headlines from Thailand:

ALL ABOUT THE WEATHER
(WELL WHAT ELSE DO WE BRITS TALK ABOUT?)

The season is changing and the weather turning. Large cracks have appeared in the garden where there used to be wet mud as the north eastern monsoon brings the dry; ‘cool’ season. No rain now until the Monsoon changes direction and brings the wet season back again in March. The temperature is definitely becoming less oppressive and it seems less humid especially when you leave Bangkok. We were in Khao Yai last Saturday and had to put a jumper on for our night drive.

Glad the dry weather is here, as the rainfall can be incredible. The roads literally turn to rivers and I (in a suit) had to take my shoes and socks off and roll up my trousers in order to wade out to the main road to pick up a cab.

We do miss those incredible thunder and lighting storms though, which were so ferocious as well as just a little unnerving.

GOLF (PASS ME MY PIPE AND SLIPPERS)

We’ve taken up golf! Don’t scoff, its surprisingly good fun and the most hip and happening new craze to hit Thailand. There are loads of ‘driving ranges’ all over the place where you can drink cold beer and wallop a few hundred balls off into the distance without embarrassing yourself on a proper course.

PATTAYA BEACH (A SEEDY SOHO ON SEA)

We went down to the beach at Pattaya the other weekend which is about 3 hours out of Bangkok. It’s pleasant enough but not exactly a deserted white sand paradise; it’s a bit like a shabby Brighton really but with more palm trees and brothels. When we arrived back late on Sunday the doves that I have been feeding were all waiting for us on the front gate cooing pitifully.

SHIPMENT LEAVES THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE AFTER BEING IMPOUNDED BY ALIENS

Out shipment (expected in September) has now arrived (just why did we pack half of it?).

The shippers (JVK) blame the school for the delay and the school blames their agents Allied Pickfords who in turn blame their Thai principles (JVK).

We’re trying to get some compensation out of someone but not much real hope of anything being done.

THAILAND (LAND OF THE FREE)

We feel that we’re beginning to get used to living in Thailand with all its quirks. I don’t suppose we’ll ever get used to it entirely though with elephants ambling down the equivalent of the Hendon Way (in the wrong direction) and ordering a seafood curry only to be presented with a plate of crispy pigs’ colons, conch and clams which you had to hit with a hammer to open and raw crabs which you eat shell and all. But, then we don’t want to get used to it just yet.

There is also something ridiculously ‘free’ about a country where you can buy beer at a petrol filling station and a hot snack from a barbeque on the forecourt. There’s also something liberating in just knowing you can drive the wrong way down the hard shoulder of the motorway at night and with no lights if you want too. (Come on just who hasn’t ever dreamed of turning around in a traffic jam on the M25 and belting down the hard shoulder? Or saying ‘sod it’ and stopping in the fast lane to answer your mobile?)

SUNAN

Sunan the maid is fantastic neither of us has washed as much as a cup or ironed a cuff for months; no change there really except here they actually get cleaned. .

BRIBERY AND CORRUPTION AT THE IMMIGRATION OFFICE

Rob has finally received his work permit after he attended the Department of Immigration accompanied by school liaison officers. He reckons his mind was put well at ease when he arrived at the Immigration office and noticed that the seats had been ‘Kindly Donated by Bangkok Patana School’. I suppose if the immigration officer ever gets a bit difficult the school liaison can ask for his chairs back – most undignified!

WE’VE GOT WHEELS

As Rob now has his work permit and Thai driving licence, we have finally bought a car.

[for those interested it is a 4X4 Toyota Sports Cruiser with a 2.5 diesel engine and the following indispensable features: A/C, electronic lumber support, electric windows and mirrors, tinted windows, bull bars, rear proximity detector, leather seats, etc].

We will now be able to really start seeing Thailand and plan to drive to Laos and Angkor Wat in Cambodia

CARDAMOMS, MACHINEGUNS AND MOTORBIKES

We’ve just come back from a trip at half term to the Cardamom Mountains of Cambodia.

No tarred road or mains electricity but pristine unexplored rainforest. We had to take two armed guards into the jungle as it seems the remnants of the Khmer Rouge have turned to kidnapping and banditry for a living – very exciting.

MONITORING THE GARDEN AND LEONARDO DE CAPRIO

There seem to be more monitor lizards in the canal next to the garden especially about 5pm when they all head upstream. There are even one or two young ones about 12 inches long which are very cute (well as cute as a cold blooded reptile can be – no offence Cornelius or Pythagoras!).

There was also a copper headed racer in the canal the other day which is a medium sized snake and quite harmless (unless you are a frog).

On the snake theme, we were driving back from a visit to ‘Leonardo Falls’ of the Beach fame (real name Haew Suwat Falls) at Khao Yai on Saturday when we saw a huge Burmese Python on the road pretending to be dead. It was about 10 feet long, very fat and shot off when we got out of the car and approached on foot. Robin had seen another Burmese Python the week before on a school Duke of Edinburgh expedition.

THAI LESSONS AND ALL THAT KRAP.

I’m starting Thai lessons. Thai is a tonal language and as such a bit of a minefield as the meaning of words changes depending on the tone you use (rising falling, middle, flat).

For example the Thai for ‘I like horse riding’ sounds very similar to ‘I like eating dog shit’ as only the tones are different in the words for horse and dog and riding and shit.

There are other interesting/funny things about the language. As we said in our last email it is very polite to put the word 'Krap' after every sentence, 'Krap' is also a polite way of saying 'I've heard you'.

Now, the national beer here is 'Singa' and the word for 'two' is 'song'.

In Thai you put the quantifier after the noun so ‘two beers’ becomes ‘Singa Song’.

The word ‘now’ in Thai means ‘cold’.

'Cow Pat' means fried rice and 'Moo' means Pork.

Armed with the above information you can now go into your local Thai restaurant and say to the waiter (whom you address as ‘Pee’):

Pee Krap,

Cow Pat Krap- Moo Krap,

Singa Song Krap - Now Krap!!

Please let us know what happens!!

Until next time

Lots of love

Rich and Rob.

PS. We have not attached any photos this time but will post them on our new web site very shortly - we will let you know when we have done so.